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The Big 3-0

08 May

Yes, I am fully aware that I am now one year away from being kicked off the calendar. 

And yes, I know that people will marvel at my actual age, not because I look young or anything but because I am very much vertically challenged

And yes, I am still very much single and plan to be single for a very, very long time and kids are not even part of the plan so do not remind me that my biological clock is ticking because I will let it tick away and just become the cool aunt to your kids

So on the day that I turn 30, these are my random thoughts….

  • I may have spent the entire day working, but I didn’t mind, because here is where I am truly happy. It took me 10 years and 7 jobs later, but at least I have found my calling. It took lots of tears and pain, but yeah, I finally arrived
  • For the first time in my entire existence, I am truly at peace being single and alone. Wait, scratch that. Who ever said that being single equates to being alone is deluded. I have my family, the best I could ever ask for. I have friends who’ve known me 30 pounds ago. I have friends who I know will continue to be friends till we’re old and gray. I have officemates who I am fortunate enough to call friends as well. So yes, I am single and very very far from being alone
  • Yes, the longing to be with someone will spring up every once in a while, but for the first time, it has been manageable. Boys will always be there, but I have learned I can be happy with or without them. And honestly, I have been happier without them
  • I know friends have been unhappy with the way my spiritual life, or lack of it, has been for the past years. There are things I want to say to you, but I know I will always be misunderstood or looked on with sadness and pity or even anger. So I will just remain silent lest I cause someone else to stumble. And I don’t mind if you tell me that you’re praying for me, because that is your choice. But know that whatever path I chose, I chose with my eyes open and I believe I’ve become a different person, for better or worse, that depends on your perspective

I am happy. I am not afraid that I am 30. I am content

These are things that I say without irony or bitterness. And I guess that is what matters, at least for today. Tomorrow is another question, but let’s just focus on today for now

sapatosida

me, 10 years ago

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2009 in Musings on Life

 

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