…is the beginning of a new chapter of my life
Now how to actually start it and what I need to change with my life right now…that is the ultimate question
After all the events in Boracay were finished and I was deflated and exhausted and missing Manila and at the same wishing to stay put in Boracay, it was time to face myself and see where I actually want to go, 2, 5, 10 years from now
And courtesy of a few therapy session with a colleague (who is now on a campaign to make me a glass half full thinker), I am actually in a very contemplative mode and would like to hibernate for one week, away from everything, and just do nothing but read, listen to all 80 gigs of songs in my hard drive and just hear myself think
Unfortunately (or fortunately, if i really think about it), work gets in the way and so I would have to do my hibernate mode in increments (say, 2-3 hours a day)
So, in the meantime, these words from this poet are what has been creeping in my head lately, for one reason or another
You who never arrived
by Rainier Marie RilkeYou who never arrived in my arms, Beloved, who were lost from the start, I don't even know what songs would please you. I have given up trying to recognize you in the surging wave of the next moment. All the immense images in me- the far-off, deeply-felt landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and unsuspected turns in the path, and those powerful lands that were once pulsing with the life of the gods- all rise within me to mean you, who forever elude me. You, Beloved, who are all the gardens I have ever gazed at, longing. An open window in a country house-, and you almost stepped out, pensive, to meet me. Streets that I chanced upon,- you had just walked down them and vanished. And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors were still dizzy with your presence and, startled, gave back my too-sudden image. Who knows? perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us yesterday, seperate, in the evening...