Sometimes u need to be caught off guard to know the true extent of your feelings. You may not always like what you see. Honesty can be an ugly and cruel taskmaster. But at least you are now aware of what you really feel beyond what you allowed yourself to feel. And as I always like to say, I would rather have my illusions shattered in one blow than to prolong the agony of living under delusions.
I think the tougher question is,what do you do now that you know? Where do you go from here?
I’ll let you know if I ever get the answers
And hopefully, this is the last thing I will say on this subject