sitting in front of myself

12 Dec

I may not have gone where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
— Douglas Adams

For the past few weeks, Plaza San Ignacio in Intramuros has been my 3rd home away from home (next to my apartment and the office) because of an event i have there (which reminds me, i havent written about that event here…hmmmm)

But last Saturday afternoon, was the first time that I’ve been able to just sit there and not do any work, to just stare at the surroundings that is just overflowing with history and untold stories

I felt like I was in a different place, reading a book and sitting in front of a statue of a girl reading a book, feeling the rain drizzling on my face, hearing the horses’ hooves as they passed behind me, pausing every once in a while to look at the ruins and wonder at what actually happened inside them hundreds of years ago

And I wonder, a few hundred years ago, who was sitting or standing in this exact spot and what he/she was thinking. Was he a Spaniard, wondering at the fates that brought him to this “godforsaken island”? Was he an Illustrado, trying to hold back tears at the thought of leaving these islands for a better life in another country? Was he an Indio, thinking about where his next meal will be coming from? (Come to think of it, even today, these exact internal dialogues could still be happening with the different people who pass by here)

This is what I love with hanging out in places that are outside buildings or anything airconditioned. You get to indulge the dreamer in you, the writer that has long since been dormant and is struggling to get out. Or you can just have temporary, momentary peace that has eluded you for a long time. And in that mental snapshot of that moment, at least everything looks dreamy or hopeful or whatever you want it to be.

And I am brought back to earth when the rain finally shows its full might after teasing me with a few measly drops. The mood has been broken, I shouldve taken shelter. But as I cinematically lift my face up to the sky, I say, I’m okay where I am right now, with the rain and all

And then I wonder if someone in the future will stand at that same spot and feel the ghost of the girl reading a book in front of the statue of the girl reading a book


Posted by on December 12, 2006 in i get so emotional baby


3 responses to “sitting in front of myself

  1. kj

    December 14, 2006 at 2:02 pm

    now, wouldn’t it be nice if i were there annoying you while you reflect on life’s bounty and mischief? haha. just a thought.

  2. majal

    December 14, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    ate ida!
    halow… =) hope u still rmember me… ur an events organizer poh ba?

  3. kurokurokoto

    December 14, 2006 at 6:16 pm

    ida, kris bantugan is here. you might want to meet up with her. i told her we could set a date. sayang naman, minsan lang andito iyun eh.


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